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Well Said Man. "I have found life management to ...

2009-04-18T15:20:00.000-04:00

Well Said Man.

"I have found life management to be unfulfilling to the extreme. GOD sees clearly though. And that is why we must lose control, and stop managing everything, so that he can."

Again well said.

Reading this brought me back to the image of the f...

2009-04-17T12:42:00.000-04:00

Reading this brought me back to the image of the four black and white tiles, and I think it applies to both of us. I had this thought in my head when I first told you about it, but I didn't say it because I thought it was just MY interpretation not God's. Now I think I have a more complete understanding. If you remember, the black and white tiles swirl together and result in one large grayish tile, with some remains of the black and white streaked swirlishly throughout (think about mixing black and white paint together, and what it looks like before it is fully stirred to a consistent gray). The point being, there is no clearly defined line or area. We try to make sense of the world, and manage our lives, by placing our emotions, time, theology, relationships, and everything else, in a black or white square. The boundaries are well defined, and even geometrically balanced. The different tiles even stack together neatly, leaving no gaps or vacancies. We find comfort in it because it tricks us into thinking we understand things, hopefully everything, and therefore have a higher level of control. Perhaps this control stems from the belief that we own our lives and material possessions. In our minds things fit into well defined equations, and the outcome is predictable. If its not, we get upset, and often try to pull away from those around us, especially those very intimate with us, and make our world smaller, and therefore more manageable. We fight to find our controlled equilibrium again. The more things that do not fit into our equations, the more our focus becomes on ourselves. I believe God is showing us that if we are honest with our selves; we have no control, and have very little understanding of anything. It is something I've said with my own mouth many times, but it hasn't permeated my soul. The world is a swirling black and white hurricane. We catch glimpses of what is black or white, but we don't grasp its boundaries. Where it starts and begins is elusive. Sometimes we can't see any black or white, but everything is gray, and you don't know where to start to make sense of things. I have found life management to be unfulfilling to the extreme. GOD sees clearly though. And that is why we must lose control, and stop managing everything, so that he can. God will help you make sense of this life, but we must first tear our black and white facades apart. He will show you what is truly important, and life giving. He desires for us to be free. To have joy, not stress; love, not fear; peace, not inner turmoil; hope, not realistic predictions. I know you have already realized many of these things. Hopefully this was God not me. At least writing this helped me process through this stuff. See ya tonight.

That is true, I was just thinking recently how I l...

2009-04-17T11:28:00.000-04:00

That is true, I was just thinking recently how I live a life where it is easy to rely on myself. I have every material thing I need, plus much more. Perhaps a huge mental wall stems from this and prevents a reckless reliance on Jesus.

Dude, I know what you mean. I just started reading...

2009-04-13T17:52:00.000-04:00

Dude, I know what you mean. I just started reading Matthew 6:24-34 again. For the first time I feel like I 'get it' Don't worry even about what you will eat or drink. That really hits me b/c of the whole food thing I've been going through (gluttony). I've never really thought about or been put in a situation where I really needed to depend on God for the basic needs.

So receive this compliment: I like your blog

2009-04-06T16:44:00.000-04:00

So receive this compliment: I like your blog

I find that receiving love and compliments is dire...

2009-04-06T16:43:00.000-04:00

I find that receiving love and compliments is directly tied to the love and compliments you give. I've found more freedom in this, as I used to do what you and Lewis described all of the time. I couldn't receive a compliment, and I was very self focused. I also rarely gave any affirmation, yet its what I so desired to receive. I still am this way many many times, but its amazing to have glimpses of what sort of life was intended for us.

Man I think my whole life has been focused around ...

2009-04-06T16:26:00.000-04:00

Man I think my whole life has been focused around "my time". I have ideas and plans to which certain blocks of time are assigned to. I get so pissed when it gets disrupted. I find that these times are rarely fulfilling, and I get way stressed out. On the other hand, when I have no plan and happen to let myself go with the flow, I experience some of the most halcyon freedom in life. Oh yeah, and I worry a lot less. Its crazy how oppressive this lie can be. And its such a constant for me. This little excursion from my homework has just changed my life a little more...